...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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