If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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