where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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