did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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