I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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