Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize