ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize