I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize