I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
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After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
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I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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