At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize