I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize