weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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