the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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