sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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