im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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