I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize