im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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