The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I deserve this hangover.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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