You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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