He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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