all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize