I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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