i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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