I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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