Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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