He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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