the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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