oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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