Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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