need another drink. this is the easiest way
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize