Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
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Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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