Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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