theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize