i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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