Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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