I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
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I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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