Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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