STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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