three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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