Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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