I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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