mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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