You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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