The maid of honor just puked.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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