Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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