textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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