great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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