he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize