so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Michael Bay diarrhea
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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