Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize